Invasion of the Israeli Skanks!

As you all know, I work in the glamourus Longmont mall in Zales. We are sort of central in the mall, near the main entrance. Right outside of our store, there is an Aimons and Beaute kiosk, where one can purchase sea salt scrubs, lotion, nail fortifying cream, etc.. I have worked at the mall for over 2 months now, and have never particularly been bothered by this establishment, and the only employee I ever noticed, was a muffin-topped, ass-crack displaying mall whore named Lindsay, whose only offensive behavior (other than wearing pants that are 3 sizes too small) was to come into Zales and mooch cigarettes off of my fabulous co-worker Richard. Suddenly, last weekend while coming into work, I am accosted by a large young woman with an accent.

"Excuse me ma'am, can I ask you a question"
" No!" I said, "I'm late for work" as she grabbed me by the arm and pulled me towards the mountains of skin care products.
"Do you wear your nails natural?"
I managed to get away and get to work unscathed. The entire day, all I could hear was "Excuse me can I ask you a question?". They were yelling at people at least 40 ft. away "can I ask you a question?". They were grabbing people and pulling them towards the kiosk, giving them samples, demonstrating the products by washing their hands for them, and buffing their nails. Of course, the only people who fell for this were men. Big stupid men. I suppose it helped that the two of them were wearing the skankiest outfits I've seen in real life. The little one wore shorts so short, when she bent over you could see ass, and an extremely low-cut see-through baby blue sweater and a black bra, with black high heels. The big one wore a tight brown, low-cut mini dress with black leggings and tall brown boots. Both of them had very dark hair, with very brassy blond do-it-yourself highlights. Their dress of course was the least of their offenses that day. After a while people began to avoid them, walking along the perimeter of the walls, which of course, destroyed our business for the day. The skanks began to play dirty.

After one lady refused to get her nails buffed, the large one said "why, don't you want do have beautiful nails like this?" as she flipped her the bird. Mall security visited us shortly afterwards, and I learned that this strange phenomena happened last holiday season. Apparently the owner of the kiosk is Israeli, and he goes to Israel before the holidays and recrutes a bunch of ho-bags to sell his handcreme. Very strange indeed.

Later in the day, the larger skank started yelling and doing a belly dance and singing a Shakira song, earning her the name Skankira. Mini Skank put one leg up on a chair every time she rubbed someone's hands down, spreading her legs wide so that you could see bush coming out of the short shorts. Skankira flirted with the guys at the Cingular kiosk, T-mobile store, and any other wireless phone sales associate she could find. The worst was yet to come.

I had recently decided that my next boyfriend is going to be a Mr. Eko from lost type character, and just when I spotted the only large black man in Longmont, Skankira grabbed him by the arm "Can I ask you a question?". NOO! After she gave him a manicure she took him by the hand and they left, they just fucking left together! Where did they go? The mall bathrooms?
The Parking lot? Where!? They returned after about 20-30 minutes with some food from the food court that was not eaten. He wrote down his phone number and gave it to her, she smiled a skanky smile and put the piece of paper into her cleavage. Nasty. Skank. Whore.

Since then I have been a witness to several more incidents of skanky behavior, and several more skanks. One in a hideous fake fur coat named Skankscwatch grabbed a mentally unstable young man, who then refused to leave them alone and had to be hauled off by mall security, Skinny Skank begged us for more water for her spray bottle. Skankira accused of being anti-semetic because we only sell 3 different Star of David charms and a lot more crosses. The saga continues, day after long day, the march toward the Christmas season will be a long one, as long as we are under attack from the Israeli skanks!